Loss of Identity
Loss of identity often shows up quietly, rather than as a clear or dramatic crisis.
Sometimes it follows a specific change such as the end of a relationship, a shift in work, becoming a parent, recovery from illness, or a period of addiction or self-harm. At other times, it is harder to name. There may simply be a sense of no longer knowing who you are, or where you fit.
Loss of identity is often accompanied by confusion, grief, or a feeling of being ungrounded. Things that once gave shape or meaning may no longer feel available, and new ways of understanding yourself have not yet formed.
Understanding loss of identity
I understand loss of identity not as something that has gone wrong, but as a response to change, experience, or disruption.
Identity is shaped over time through relationships, roles, expectations, and ways of coping. When these shift or fall away, it can leave a sense of emptiness, fragmentation, or uncertainty. This can feel unsettling, but it can also signal that something important is changing or asking to be reexamined.
Loss of identity often brings questions about meaning, direction, and belonging. These questions may sit quietly in the background or become more present during times of transition.
Living with loss of identity
Living with loss of identity can feel lonely. Many people struggle to put words to it, or worry that they should already have answers.
There may be pressure from others or from yourself to move on, find purpose, or become someone new. These expectations can make the experience more difficult, especially when what is needed is time to understand what has been lost or disrupted.
How I work with loss of identity
Rather than treating identity as something to be rebuilt or replaced, I am interested in understanding what has shaped you, what has been lost, and what may be emerging. This includes paying attention to different parts of you that may feel uncertain, conflicted, or unfinished.
Grounded in the therapeutic relationship we build together, which I see as central to the work, we can explore the patterns, stories, and assumptions that have shaped your sense of self and question whether they still belong. This can allow a more grounded and coherent sense of identity to take shape, without forcing change or direction.
What this work can involve
Working with loss of identity may involve exploring experiences of change, loss, or transition, reflecting on roles and expectations that no longer fit, noticing internal conflict or uncertainty about who you are, and allowing new meanings or directions to emerge. The aim is to support continuity and understanding through change, rather than arriving at fixed answers.
An invitation
If loss of identity is something you are struggling with, you are welcome to get in touch for an initial conversation.